Alþjóðlegt töffness

Við hlæjum að bröndurum sem enginn skilur, við tölum hærra en heilt fuglabjarg og við þorum að viðurkenna að við erum ekkert svo kúl. Sem auðvitað gerir okkur ofurkúl

föstudagur, desember 3

Asnar

Ég er búin að vera mjög á móti karlmönnum síðustu daga þótt kannski fæstir hafi tekið eftir því þar sem ég alveg hætt að hitta fólk. En allavega þá rakst ég á þetta á gömlu síðunni minni og fannst þetta mjög við hæfi. Ég nennti því miður ekki að þýða þetta, þið eruð allar vel læsar á ensku hvort eð er. Versúgú:

The wonderful world of the wanker

1) I'll call you. No he won't. Wankers say they will and even go to a lot of trouble getting your number but they don't call you ever. It's against their religion or something.

2) I just want to be your friend, honest. No, he doesn't. Wankers never just want to be your friend, it's just a cheesy cover up and then when they finally decide to reveal their true agenda and you decline you are a cow and a teaser. They might even throw you out of a moving car to express their rage. Wankers don't have friends, they only have potential victims.

3) I don't have a girlfriend. Yes, he does. A wanker will never admit to having one but while they are doing their best to smooth talk you into bed their wifes/girlfriends/soulmates are at home with their crying brats wondering why on earth their boyfriends/husbands/soulmates always have to work late on Fridays

4) You are the most beautiful girl in the world. No you're not. This is the wankers way to doop you into bed

5) I love you. No, he doesn't. If telling you that you are the most beautiful girl in the world doesn't work the wanker will try that line on you.

6) Can I buy you a drink? That's Wanker language for if I buy you a drink and you don't sleep with me I'm going to tell everyone I slept with you anyway and not only that but I'll tell them you were a lousy lay as well

7) Can you leave now, I need to be alone. That's wanker language for I'm done with using your services and you should bugger off home skank. That is sometimes followed by here's 10 quids for a taxi which really means I think I can pay you like a whore

8) I just came out of a long relationship and I'm not ready for anything serious yet. Wanker lingo for I just wanted to sleep with you and I'm not man enough to admit it

9) I don't like you anyway, I only put my hand on your thigh and stroked it and tried to kiss you to show you how natives in Bali greet each other . The wanker's way to deal with rejection. Sometimes why would I fancy you anyway follows if you don't look like you are buying his explaination

10) I'm loaded you know and I'm best friends with Becks, maybe I'll introduce you to Vicky one day. You wanna come out and see my Porche is Wanker lingo for I have a small penis.

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